Posts filed under ‘A Special Kind Of Stupid’

“The Donald” Trumped by Fisherman

Michael Forbes (the Scottish fisherman, not the magazine guy) owns a 23 acre plot at Balmedie, Aberdeenshire, on the east coast of Scotland and refuses to sell it to Donald Trump, who needs it to fill in the gap between his planned 18-hole golf course and 450-bedroom hotel.

With words like, “It’s mine and I’m keeping it”, and “He’s not used to people saying no to him,” the 55-year-old smelly bastard has certainly got his head on straight. He reportedly turned down $700,000 for the land, saying it was well below the lands value.

Displaying his trademark tact and stupidity, Trump has publicly called Forbes’ land “disgusting”, adding that it was in “total disrepair” and accused Forbes of keeping it badly maintained so he could benefit financially.

CNN reports:

According to PA, Trump said there were “rusty tractors, rusty oil cans — I actually asked him ‘are you doing this on purpose to try and make it look bad, so I have to pay some more money?”

You are a short-bus riding putz, Donald Trump. When god was handing out brains, you must have been in the other line for a second helping of jackass.

Fisherman bunkers Trump golf plan

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October 11, 2007 at 4:35 am 3 comments

Tax Evaders Captured By Their Own Stupidity

Guess what? You're going to prison and the feds STILL got your stuff!

WMUR News of New Hampshire reports that Ed and Elaine Brown (or “The Plainfield Jackasses”) were captured in their own home by U.S. Marshalls posing as supporters.

The two idiots, who had earlier declared that they would not come out alive, were apparently big talk and no walk.

WMUR reports:

The undercover officers were invited in by the Browns on Thursday evening, and before the couple realized they weren’t supporters, they were already under arrest.

“Ultimately, this open-door policy that they seemed to have, which allowed the Browns to have some supporters bring them supplies, welcome followers and even host a picnic — this proved to be their undoing,” U.S. Marshal Stephen Monier said. “They invited us in. We escorted them out.”

The story goes on to say that the Browns (known locally as the “Dynamic Dumbasses”) had been in a standoff with police since April over tax evasion charges. They claimed that there is no law forcing them to pay taxes and refused to surrender.

Every five to ten years we hear about a family or “militia” group getting into a standoff with police over some nonsense about how the feds cannot legally make us pay taxes. And every time it ends with the “patriots” either being gunned down or dragged off to prison. In either circumstance, the feds end up with your property.

Now, I am by no means a tax or legal expert. However I do have more common sense than a yellow post-it pad, and that is more than enough to figure out that if the feds surround your house and tell you to “come on outtta their, y’alls surrounded” then you will WILL lose any and every upcoming physical confrontation. If you don’t believe me, just ask the Browns, or David Koresh (the Branch Davidians), or Randy Weaver (Ruby Ridge), or Dick Wilson (Wounded Knee), etc., etc.

I am not saying that any of these people or groups were right or wrong. I am saying that when you choose the route of direct physical confrontation with the U.S. Government, you will lose.

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October 7, 2007 at 7:39 pm Leave a comment

Ghost of Anne Frank Protects “Uber-Tree”

How many more victims will fall to the wrath of the zombie tree?

A diseased and dying tree is being coddled and protected at all costs because it was mentioned a couple of times in “Anne Frank’s diary”.

Quoting CNN:

“The 150-year-old tree was due to be chopped down after experts determined it could not be rescued from the fungus and moths that caused more than half its trunk to rot.”

Apparently, it has been linked to magical healings and miracles in the community¹. Rabbi Jacobs of a nearby synagogue was quoted as saying, “If this tree falls, the nazis will return and burn us all! Oy vey!”²

The point of my nastiness and sarcasm? IT’S A FREAKIN’ TREE, PEOPLE! LET IT DIE!

¹: This is not really true, but it makes the story sound more interesting.
²: This is a quote that I made up for the person I made up to support the abovementioned false story point.

Anne Frank’s tree spared the chop

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October 4, 2007 at 1:14 am 3 comments

HIV-infected condoms sent to kill Africans!!

OR: The Catholic Church Puts It’s

Rubbers Where It’s Mouth Is

What the hell is the deal with African leaders and AIDS? (see also Gambian Presidents Kentucky Fried Aids Cure)

Mozambique’s Roman Catholic Archbishop Francisco Chimoio has proclaimed that at least two European countries (he has refused to name them) is purposely infecting condoms with HIV and shipping them to Africa “in order to finish quickly the African people”.  Some anti-retroviral drugs were also tainted according to Chimoio, who presides over Mozambiques “Our Lady of Dumb-Asses”.

Archbishop Jackass Chimoio didn’t mention why an anti-retroviral would need to be tainted with HIV if its consumer already had the disease.

This is not some random idiot, by the way. This is the head of the whole Catholic Church in Mozambique. Speaking to the BBC, he said:

“I know that there are two countries in Europe … making condoms with the virus, on purpose…They want to finish with the African people. This is the programme. They want to colonise until up to now. If we are not careful we will finish in one century’s time.”

I, for one, do not want to see Africans “finished”. If for no other reason, then because half my posts concern insane quotes from their leaders.

Archbishop: HIV-infected condoms sent to kill Africans
Shock at archbishop condom claim

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September 28, 2007 at 12:29 am Leave a comment

Hawaiian MIT Arrested With Fake Bomb at Airport

OR: Aloha To Your Future!

I always thought that MIT was supposed to be filled with geniuses and whiz kids. Although, to be fair I guess that geniuses can still be nuts.

Star Simpson, artist extraordinaire!

Star Simpson, a 19 year old MIT Sophomore wearing a black-hooded sweatshirt was arrested at gunpoint at Logan International Airport outside Terminal ‘C’ with a fake bomb strapped across her chest. The (former?) swim team student said that it was a piece of art for career day. Quoting State Police Maj. Scott Pare, commanding officer at the Logan Intl.:

“She claims that it was just art, and that she was proud of the art and she wanted to display it.”

Pare went on to say that had Simpson not followed instructions during the arrest, she would be in a morgue instead of a cell. 

The “device” was described as having batteries connected to wires and a circuit board. Some reports go on to say that putty (later identified as Play-do) was also attached, others say that the Play-do was in Simpsons hands.

The MIT Swimming and Diving Team Sophomore had apparently walked into the airport with the “art” strapped to her minimal bosom, proceeded to the information desk where she asked about a passenger on an inbound flight from Oakland, then left the airport. Shortly thereafter she was discovered outside Terminal ‘C’ licking pavement and surrounded by police bearing automatic weapons.

Photos of a shaved headed Simpson from a friends online album(I’m pretty sure that my story is the only one with a link to these photos)
Star Simpsons Personal MIT Webpage
MIT student with fake bomb arrested at Boston airport
Police: Student Arrested In Bomb Hoax Lucky Not In Morgue
Woman held in airport bomb hoax

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September 21, 2007 at 10:33 pm 3 comments

Disagree with a library book? Steal it!!

OR: Free Speech on sale for $20.95

Picture this: You’re in a library and you see a book that has viewpoints that differ from your own. Do you:

a) Check out the book to compare/contrast your own viewpoint

b) Respect other peoples beliefs, and leave it alone

c) Steal the book, send a check to the library to cover the cost then go to another library and do the same.

Well, if you’re familiar with the stories I post about then you already know that the lady in this story chose ‘c’.

JoAn Karkos stole copies of “It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health” from two libraries in Lewiston and Auburn, Maine because she was “horrified” by the content and now she refuses to give them back. JoAn later sent a check for $20.95 and a letter to each of the libraries she robbed.

Does she think that the libraries will just blow it off? Does she think that they can’t get another copy of the book? Does she think that a patron of free speech won’t hear about this and donate a dozen copies to each library? Who knows? She’s not that bright!

I will bet you $11.75 (the amount of money currently in my pocket) that she is a nut from the religious right who believes that “Thou shalt not steal” doesn’t apply to her because she is doing God’s work. It’s becoming more plain every day that god and hypocrisy go hand in hand.

Critic Of Sex Education Book Refuses To Return Library Copies

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September 18, 2007 at 8:05 pm 2 comments

Man sells rock, Native Americans complain

So this guy “Darryl Pitt” is selling a chunk of a meteorite that he legally owns and a native American tribe (the Clackama tribe) is crying that it’s a “holy rock” sent to earth by the “Sky People”?

 Oh. My. God. You have got to be kidding me. I don’t care what anyone says, people who believe things like this are PROOF that we evolved from monkeys.

HELLOOO!!! IDIOTS!!!!!!  There are no such things as Sky People. And even if there was, what the hell kind of gifts are they giving us? Giant chunks of stone?!

Apparently the 30 pound slice of meteorite is expected to bring in over $1 million! If the Clackama tribe wants it so bad, why don’t they use some of their casino and tax-free cigarette profits to buy it?

Siobahn Taylor of the Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde, which includes the Clackamas, remarked of the upcoming auction:

“We are deeply saddened that any individual or organization would be so insensitive to Native American spirituality and culture as to traffic in the sale of a sacred and historic artifact.”

The owner of the rock does have sympathy for the Clackamas, saying:

“I’m saddened by their being saddened. While I regret the Grand Ronde has taken offense, the bottom line is that a portion of the meteorite is simply changing hands.”

Hahaha! I love that quote! (Although I must admit that I am saddened by the sadness that the Clackama sadness has inflicted upon Darryl).

Indian Group Blasts Meteorite Sale

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September 16, 2007 at 11:44 pm 5 comments

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