Posts filed under ‘Africa’

Kenyan Politicians Fight Over Oranges

The ODM party and the ODM-Kenya parties are both petitioning the Electoral Commission of Kenya (ECK) for exclusive rights to use an orange as a symbol for their parties. Apparently, ODM has been using a full orange, while ODM-Kenya opted for the more daring one full and a half orange.

Yeah! Good thinking guys, because THAT is what is wrong in Kenya! Let’s stop bickering about the little issues that mean nothing, such as:

→ 50% of the population living below the poverty line

→ 40% unemployment rate

→ rampant HIV/AIDS epidemics (currently 1 in 16 Kenyans have full blown AIDS)

(Do I need to go on?)

Kenya’s The Standard Online reports:

‘Raila, Mudavadi and chairman Mr Henry Kosgey said ODM legally owned the symbol.
“Ours is a full Orange and the ODM-Kenya’s is one and a half orange. We are Chungwa and they are Machungwa,” added Raila.
ODM has in the past claimed that it had been granted exclusive rights to use the orange symbol, adding that no other party should claim the orange.
Maanzo said they urged ECK to ensure that the party was the only one allowed to use the orange symbol.
“We have the conviction that the orange symbol is ours and will agree to nothing less,” said Maanzo.
They argued that should the ECK allow the two parties to use their respective orange symbols, then they had no problem but should it be ruled that the orange was for one party, they would demand that it be given to their party.
Kalonzo later demanded a guarantee from the ECK that the orange would be part of their symbol.’

 Let me make sure I have it straight:
ODM = Chungwa = full orange
ODM-Kenya = MaChungwa = full orange and half orange
Yep, that’s like night and day.

Anyone remember the movie that said, “Stupid is as Stupid does.”?

ECK caught up in fresh battle for orange symbol
SOURCE: CIA World Fact Book — Kenya

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October 4, 2007 at 1:45 am 1 comment

Use A Toilet Or Go To Jail

OR: Up Sh*t Creek Without A Paddle

Police in the Eastern Uganda district of Tororo are arresting villagers who do not have toilets for their homes. District authorities are trying to discourage people from the common practice of defecating in bushes, and said that the “toilet defaulters” would be released in exchange for an agreement to dig a pit latrine within one week.

From Tororo District Chairman Emmanuel Osuna:

“It’s lamentable that while the Americans and the Europeans are visiting the moon and are about to reach the sun, in this part of Africa I am busy hunting for people who claim they don’t have the time and the technology for making simple pit latrines.”

I’m not sure why District Chairman Osuna believes that Americans and Europeans are about to reach the sun, but…whatever… 

During a wednesday raid in Osukuru, 50 homes were found to have no toilets; however forty of the disgusting bastards escaped by swimming across the river to Kenya or by climbing nearby high rocks. (Apparently the police are forbidden to chase people onto high rocks.)

Okay, that’s just nasty. Dig a damn hole, for god’s sake. It’s bad enough that you have to be told to do it, then threatened with jail, but OMFG! is it really worth running away and swimming to another country!!

Toiletless men arrested in Uganda

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September 28, 2007 at 8:14 pm 1 comment

HIV-infected condoms sent to kill Africans!!

OR: The Catholic Church Puts It’s

Rubbers Where It’s Mouth Is

What the hell is the deal with African leaders and AIDS? (see also Gambian Presidents Kentucky Fried Aids Cure)

Mozambique’s Roman Catholic Archbishop Francisco Chimoio has proclaimed that at least two European countries (he has refused to name them) is purposely infecting condoms with HIV and shipping them to Africa “in order to finish quickly the African people”.  Some anti-retroviral drugs were also tainted according to Chimoio, who presides over Mozambiques “Our Lady of Dumb-Asses”.

Archbishop Jackass Chimoio didn’t mention why an anti-retroviral would need to be tainted with HIV if its consumer already had the disease.

This is not some random idiot, by the way. This is the head of the whole Catholic Church in Mozambique. Speaking to the BBC, he said:

“I know that there are two countries in Europe … making condoms with the virus, on purpose…They want to finish with the African people. This is the programme. They want to colonise until up to now. If we are not careful we will finish in one century’s time.”

I, for one, do not want to see Africans “finished”. If for no other reason, then because half my posts concern insane quotes from their leaders.

Archbishop: HIV-infected condoms sent to kill Africans
Shock at archbishop condom claim

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September 28, 2007 at 12:29 am Leave a comment

Sierra Leone’s peaceful election!

Ernest Bai Koroma has become the next president of Sierra Leone.

Running on a platform of “zero tolerance for corruption”, he will be the country’s first elected president since peacekeepers left after the incredibly bloody civil war that left tens of thousands dead and created only-god-knows how many amputees.

Despite the hundreds of looters who decimated the outgoing party’s (SLPP)  headquarters, stealing everything from furniture to coat racks, and the ensuing (almost gratuitous) police use of tear gas to quell them which resulted in at least one civilian death, it was a relatively peaceful transfer of power.

My last post about Sierra Leone cynically predicted a violent and bloody election. I am happily (if still a bit wary) surprised. It appears that the people may be tired of the mayhem and destruction that comes with cronyism and party worship.

Sundays reports of the SLPP’s protests of fraud and descrepancies had me holding my breath, but they seem to have had enough bloodshed, too.

I’m not ready to admit that all is well, but I am beginning to feel optimistic. It would be great to see another exception to African politics of barbarism and horror.

Sierra Leone’s new president inaugurated

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September 18, 2007 at 7:28 pm 1 comment

Man’s Best Friend Becomes Man’s Main Course

OR: Breaking News! Man Bites Dog

 You know, of all the people I hate (and I hate a lot of people) Zimbabwe’s president Robert Mugabe stands out among the rest.

I’ve written before about his stupidity (see From Breadbasket to Basketcase), and how he has made his country a crap-hole.

If you’ve been following the Zimbabwean news, then you already knew what a mess this country has become. Well believe it or not, it’s getting worse.

Apparently, the latest way to survive the poverty that Mugabe has inflicted on his people is to eat the family dog.

I CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP, PEOPLE!! CNN is reporting an AP story about how people are eating the family pet just to survive.

DO NOT THINK THAT I AM IN ANYWAY BLAMING OR CONDEMNING THEM. I would do the same thing if an evil demogogue had ruined my country. (I’m looking at YOU, Bush.)

The story goes on to tell us that the animal shelters cannot feed or euthanize the animals they have because they have no food or poison. Why not give the animals to the starving people? That’s not a joke. The people need to eat, and the animals are going to die anyway.

Robert Mugabe, there is a special place in hell for you. Don’t keep them waiting.

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September 15, 2007 at 1:38 am Leave a comment

Sudanese president brings flowers and puppies!

OR: How can you tell when a politician is lying?

According to Reuters:

Sudanese President Omar Hassan al-Bashir said on Friday that his government would observe a ceasefire in Darfur after the start of peace talks with the rebels next month.

Oh, PLEASE give me a freaking break! Does ANYONE believe a word this bloodthirsty animal says?

IF (and that’s a big if) Bashir will even make the peace concessions palatable enough for the suckers rebels to sign, how long will it be until Khartoum violates the agreement and goes back to the killing, raping, and looting that has made them famous?

Bashir appeared visibly uncomfortable when asked why his government was not disarming the Janjaweed militias. Khartoum maintains they are outlaws and denies supporting them.

Damn right he was “visibly uncomfortable”. His lies are breaking down as the evidence is stacking up! I doubt that there is one free-thinking individual on this planet who believes that the Janjaweed were not organized, trained, funded, and instructed by Bashir’s administration.

President al-Bashir is probably the most soulless national leader in a continent famous for soulless leaders.

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September 15, 2007 at 1:05 am Leave a comment

Sierra Leone urges peaceful election

The All People’s Congress (APC) and Sierra Leone’s People Party (SLPP) are urging their followers to observe a peaceful presidential election at the behest of their candidates, Koroma and Berewa, respectively.

You will forgive me if I am sceptical. As recently as this past Saturday, these guys were at each others throats. And when I say that, I mean it in a literal sense. President Ahmad Tejan Kabbah was threatening a state of emergency last month because of the bloodshed.  Machetes, stones and tree branches were the weapons of choice in the most recent clashes, but expect the means to escalate along with the regularity.

It would be a welcome surprise to see a peaceful, democratic handover of power. But given the country’s recent history (specifically the 11 year civil war resulting in 50,000 dead); and given the fact that Sierra Leone’s Independent Media Commission has already had to issue warnings to radio stations owned by the two parties because of programming designed to incite unrest; I have little confidence in the political elites true desire for peace.

Follow the news in the upcoming days and weeks. See if I am right or I am wrong.

Sierra Leonean rivals sign non-violence pact during polls
Sierra Leone leader warns of possible state of emergency

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September 7, 2007 at 4:57 am Leave a comment

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