Posts filed under ‘Asia’

Harry Potter Author “J.K. Rowling” Sues Indian Festival

Okay, let me start by saying that I understand that the Harry Potter series is the intellectual property of J.K. Rowling, and she has the right to protect it. Now, with that being said:

What a greedy, money-hungry, penny-pinching, dog-faced witch!

“Oh! Boo-hoo! I only made $1.5 BILLION off the first 6 books!” (I have not been able to find what she made off the seventh book and the movies.) “I can barely pay my rent! I think I will sue some poor ass Indians for $50,000 so I can buy a new pair of shoes!”

I hope this bitch gets face cancer and her dog bites her.

Yahoo! News reports on the AFP story:

“Rowling and her publishers Bloomsbury are seeking two million rupees (50,000 dollars) from the organisers constructing an elaborate castle from canvas and papier mache in Kolkata for the upcoming Durga Puja festival, court officials said.”

The festival organising secretary, Santunu Biswas, said his team would go ahead with the preparations for the four-day festivities, eastern India’s most celebrated annual religious carnival.

“What we are building is not a violation of copyright act anywhere in the world because it’s a religious festival and has nothing to do with money-making,” Biswas told AFP.

Another organiser, Robin Mukherjee, said he was stunned.

“The summons came at a time when the marquee is almost ready and we don’t know what to do now as we cannot afford to pay the fine,” the visibly angry official added.

“It’s just a theme …We have also modelled the Titanic and no-one sued us,” he said.

I hate people like her.

Rowling sues Indian festival for building replica of Hogwarts Castle

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October 14, 2007 at 2:44 am 9 comments

South Korea to host conference on condom size

South Korea’s government wants to set international quality and size standards for condoms. *chuckle… tee-hee*

A five-day meeting, organized by the International Organisation for Standardisation and the Seoul government, will begin today (October 8th) on the southern resort island of Jeju.

The Commerce Ministry’s standardisation agency expects 100 people from 50 nations to attend, agency spokesperson Yoo Yong-Jae said. No mention of huge orgies was made, but participants are hopeful.

South Africa’s Mail and Guardian Online reports that South Korean firms, led by Unidus, account for about 30% of global condom sales. Unidus chief Kim Sung-Hoon said:

“Demand has been growing for years for unified international standards on the size and quality of condoms to ensure users are protected from disease and women from pregnancy,”

“The size of South Korean condoms now meets international standards, helped by an increase in the size of men’s penises here”

Okay I think the question that’s on every man’s mind now is, “How exactly are South Korean penises experiencing this sudden growth spurt?” 

Kim Sung-Hoon goes on to say that globally, 80 major companies are capable of producing 12-billion condoms a year, but annual demand is just eight billion.

Citing the good quality of South Korean condoms, he said his company would lobby for the World Health Organisation and other participants to adopt Korean standards.

If the world starts going by the standard of Korean penis size, I think we’re all in trouble.

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October 8, 2007 at 3:45 am 17 comments

Kim Jong-Il says he is ‘internet expert’

Reclusive North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il has boasted of being an “internet expert,” reports said on Saturday.

The communist state keeps itself closed to the outside world to prevent so-called spiritual pollution from subverting its hard-line socialist system.

Kim told delegates at this week’s historic inter-Korean summit his internet expertise made him reluctant to allow further access to the web in the communist state, the South’s Yonhap news agency reported.

Kim’s comment came as he turned down South Korea’s proposal that a joint industrial park in the communist state be connected to the internet.

“I am an internet expert. Many problems would arise if the internet is connected to other parts of the North,” Yonhap quoted Kim as saying.

The media is a propaganda tool in North Korea, where televisions and radios are tuned to official channels only, and the leadership is aware of the internet’s potential to stir up dissent.

It operates its own version of the internet, a highly censored intranet that is policed by the Korea Computer Centre, North Korea’s window on the worldwide web and its leading high-technology research and development hub. — AFP

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October 8, 2007 at 3:15 am Leave a comment

Philippine Government Pissed-Off At Desperate Housewives

Okay, as a general rule I try to avoid television. And as a concrete rule I avoid Desperate Housewives type programming. But apparently Teri Hatcher (used to be hot, then turned into a shoe) plays a character named Susan Mayer who was talking to a gynecologist about herpes or something, i’m not sure what… but anyway… The Daily Tribune (of the aforementioned Philippines) quotes Desperate Housewives:

“They hear aging, brittle bones, loss of sexual drive…,” said the doctor who was cut midway by Mayer.

Mayer said: “Okay before we go any further, can I check those diplomas because I want to make sure that they’re not from some med school in the Philippines.”

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Big, Freakin’ Whoopedeedoo”. I concur.

The Daily Tribune then goes on to quote Department of Foreign Affairs spokesman Claro Cristobal who is quoting Philippine Consul-General to Los Angeles Mary Jo Bernardo Aragon:

“The Philippine medical profession is highly regarded all over the world as evidenced by high demand of Filipino healthcare professionals in many countries, including the US.”

Now, this may or may not be true. I do not know, neither do I care. Now let me tell you about my big but.

BUT,

If it is true then you should really have nothing to worry about, so stop crying.

The Daily Tribune continues:

Executive Secretary Eduardo Ermita, for his part, also yesterday said the government will ask for an apology because what happened was a clear case of “racial slur” against Filipino professionals.

“Yes, I think we should in behalf of our Filipino professionals. That’s a racial slur. We are being belittled. Our professionals have proved themselves enough here and abroad…I think we have to criticize it, their attention can be called,” he noted.

The Palace official, however, stressed the development does not reflect the impression of the US government on Filipino professionals.

“I don’t think it is reflective of the attitude of the US government,” Ermita said.

Well, I would say that it is more of a slur against Philippines Medical Universities than it is against their “race”, but whatever…

Also, why did the US government even come up in this discussion? Does Mr. Ermita think that US programming is ran by the government? Again, whatever…

Desperate Housewives racial slur irks RP gov’t

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October 4, 2007 at 2:42 am Leave a comment

Raising Hell – Buddhist Style

Thousands of Buddhist monks have begun peaceful marches throughout Myanmar (aka Burma) to protest violence and abuses by the military junta.

Anti-government rallies and marches by citizens had begun about a month ago in the capital city of Ragoon after fuel prices were increased 500%. The military government responded harshly with mass arrests and public beatings.

The monks had given the government a Monday deadline to apologize for beatings of several hundred of their people about two weeks ago. The deadline came and went without an apology.

The Alliance of All Burma Buddhist Monks called upon the nations estimated 400,000 monks to stop accepting alms from anyone connected to the military government. Without these rites a devout Buddhist is seen as losing all chance of attaining nirvana or release from the cycle of rebirth, according to al-Jazeera.

 From The Irriwady:

“Their move is seen as a significant confrontation between the Sangha (sons of Buddha) and the state and a big challenge for the military authorities. The vast majority of Burmese citizens are Buddhist, including most of the country’s military leaders.”

Security forces fired tear gas to break up a demonstration by several hundred monks and civilian protesters in Sittwe in Arakan State, but most protests were allowed to proceed unmolested.

The processions of monks in most cities refused to allow citizens to join in the marches, thereby denying the government charges of inciting the public.

CNN reports:

Tuesday’s march also comes on the 19th anniversary of the coup in Myanmar, in which the current junta took over after crushing a failed pro-democracy rebellion that sought an end to military rule, imposed since 1962.

National League for Democracy party led by Aung San Suu Kyi won a general election in 1990, but the junta refused to honor the results. Aung San Suu Kyi has been held in house arrest for more than 11 of the last 17 years.

The Irrawaddy News Magazine

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September 19, 2007 at 12:09 am Leave a comment

In India: No Food? Penniless? Go To Jail !!

 OR: To Live and Die in New Delhi

 I haven’t heard anything this despicable since, well, September 5th when I wrote Criminalizing Poverty which reported on a new Indonesian law that puts beggars in jail.

Well, it’s happening again; this time in India of all places! Apparently this is a long standing affront to human rights law. Of course, these cowards don’t even have the balls to call it a jail. They prefer the term “beggars’ homes”. Oh! How sweet of the Indian government to provide homes for all the beggars!

Although the law is not a new one, I had never before heard of this happening in India. However, the 1,400+ lepers, elderly, and handicapped people currently imprisoned in these ‘homes’ can expect a lot of new company. You see, India will be hosting the Commonwealth Games in 2010, and these suck-asses want to “clean up” the capital before their European masters arrive. Can’t have the decent white-skins affronted by a starving child begging for coins, eh?

The police don’t even require a warrant to arrest a beggar (defined as anyone “having no visible means of substinence and wandering about”). This describes me for about 90% of any given day.

The beggars’ court in New Delhi is overseen by Suresh Gupta, a heart-less bastard who eats children and rapes animals. Ok, I made up the cannibalism and bestiality, but he IS a heart-less bastard. When asked about the evil practice of criminalizing poverty, he remarked (with love in his heart, and a bluebird on his shoulder):

This is for the welfare of the beggars. Is it good to beg on the streets? People complain if a person begs.

Well, Mr. Gupta, we can’t have people complaining. Now can we?

Inside India’s beggar jails

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September 15, 2007 at 11:57 pm 1 comment

Benazir Bhutto returning to Pakistan – Oct. 18

The big story concerning Pakistan politics right now (other than Sharif’s short lived homecoming) is the return of Former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto.

What do I think?

 Benazir Bhutto, kinda hot.

 I think she’s kinda hot.

Lights, Camera, Bhutto!
Ex-PM Bhutto names return date

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September 15, 2007 at 5:29 am 2 comments

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