Posts filed under ‘WTF’

The Incredible Hulks “Lou Ferrigno” Arrested for Prostitution?

Hey, what is the deal with American prostitutes? Either they are 62 year-old grandmas, or they they look frighteningly similar to 1970’s Marvel Comics turned TV show characters!

Rrrrrggh! Lonely Sailor?  Mr. McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when i'm angry!

Anyway, apparently these two lookers (the two on the right) were arrested for exchanging sex for money. [I’m not sure if the charge was prostitution or torture.]

Now, I have said before that laws against prostitution are stupid, archaic, and sexist and I stand by that – but I would expect that standards should play into the equation SOMEWHERE. I’ve spent most of the last several years overseas, and the “Special Ladies” (as they are often called around here) are worlds above every woman I see in the American press picked up for solicitation. This is confusing to me because I know that there are plenty of incredibly hot women in the U.S.!

I dont’ know. Maybe i’m just reading the wrong newspapers?

2 Women Nabbed In Prostitution Bust

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October 17, 2007 at 4:27 am 2 comments

Pepsi Employee Attacks Coca-Cola Employee

Apparently David Paulina, 42, of Clymer, PA (a driver for Pepsi) decided he didn’t like something about Robert Koscho, 48, of Ebensburg, PA (a driver for Coca-Cola) and they got into a grumbling and insult match while putting out their respective displays at a Wal-Mart in White Township, PA.

So about the time they both left, Paulina calls Koscho over then cold-cocks him three or four times breaking Koscho’s nose and giving him a black eye.

thepittsburghchannel.com reports:

A Coca-Cola representative told WTAE Channel 4 Action News that the fight started over shelf space in the aisles of the store.

Shelf position is very important for product sales, and the competition for prime space can be fierce, according to Gary Baum, who owns Cook’s Market in Greensburg.

“Most places have to pay premium prices for each linear foot of shelf space, especially when you get to the frozen food, beverages, cigarette companies,” Baum said.

Although Pepsi did fire Paulina (claiming they don’t tolerate violence), I think it is obvious that Pepsi makes you a bad person and everyone should switch to Coca-Cola.

Cola Wars Get Physical As Pepsi Worker Attacks Coke Employee

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October 14, 2007 at 2:57 am 7 comments

Harry Potter Author “J.K. Rowling” Sues Indian Festival

Okay, let me start by saying that I understand that the Harry Potter series is the intellectual property of J.K. Rowling, and she has the right to protect it. Now, with that being said:

What a greedy, money-hungry, penny-pinching, dog-faced witch!

“Oh! Boo-hoo! I only made $1.5 BILLION off the first 6 books!” (I have not been able to find what she made off the seventh book and the movies.) “I can barely pay my rent! I think I will sue some poor ass Indians for $50,000 so I can buy a new pair of shoes!”

I hope this bitch gets face cancer and her dog bites her.

Yahoo! News reports on the AFP story:

“Rowling and her publishers Bloomsbury are seeking two million rupees (50,000 dollars) from the organisers constructing an elaborate castle from canvas and papier mache in Kolkata for the upcoming Durga Puja festival, court officials said.”

The festival organising secretary, Santunu Biswas, said his team would go ahead with the preparations for the four-day festivities, eastern India’s most celebrated annual religious carnival.

“What we are building is not a violation of copyright act anywhere in the world because it’s a religious festival and has nothing to do with money-making,” Biswas told AFP.

Another organiser, Robin Mukherjee, said he was stunned.

“The summons came at a time when the marquee is almost ready and we don’t know what to do now as we cannot afford to pay the fine,” the visibly angry official added.

“It’s just a theme …We have also modelled the Titanic and no-one sued us,” he said.

I hate people like her.

Rowling sues Indian festival for building replica of Hogwarts Castle

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October 14, 2007 at 2:44 am 9 comments

Cop Drops Lawsuit Against Family of Brain-Damaged Tot

Here are the new developments in the story I brought to you yesterday entitled: “Slimebag Cop Sues Family of Brain-Damaged Tot”

Apparently Sgt. Eichhorn has come to her sensed and is dropping the charges.  For this, I commend her and will no longer refer to her as “Satan’s Whore”.

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Local6.com reports:

Officer Drops Suit, Placed On Leave

Woman Broke Knee After Slipping On Puddle 

CASSELBERRY, Fla. — A police sergeant on Thursday dropped her lawsuit against a family that was filed after she slipped and fell at their home during a 911 call, and she was placed on leave by the Casselberry Police Department.

Sgt. Andrea Eichhorn, a 12-year department veteran, was removed from duty with pay while the department reviews the incident.

A 1-year-old boy, Joey Cosmillo, nearly drowned Jan. 9, and there was water on the floor at the home of the boy’s family. Eichhorn slid, broke her knee and missed two months of work. She said the boy’s family is guilty of negligence.

Eichhorn’s attorney, David Heil, sent a fax to Local 6 News that stated Eichhorn said it was in the best interest of herself and her family, friends and the Casselberry Police Department to dismiss the lawsuit.

“It doesn’t mean anything because you can’t take anything more away from us than what has been taken,” grandmother Maggie Cosmillo said in reference to her grandson’s condition.

Joey suffered brain damage and can no longer walk, talk or swallow. He lives in a nursing home and eats and breathes through tubes.

The boy’s grandmother said she hopes some good can come out of the attention the incident has garnered through the lawsuit.

“I just want someone to step forward (and) help this little boy. Let’s give him the best that he deserves,” Maggie Cosmillo said.

The lawsuit was filed against the advice of the Casselberry police chief. Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.

Previous Story:

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October 12, 2007 at 8:29 pm 2 comments

Slimebag Cop Sues Family of Brain-Damaged Tot

So this money-hungry, piece-of-crap cop “Sgt. Andrea Eichhorn” from Casselberry, Florida responded to a 911 call in January of this year. The call concerned a 1-year-old boy named Joey Cosmillo who had fallen into a swimming pool. They were able to resuscitate him but he suffered brain damage and now cannot walk, talk or swallow. He currently lives in a nursing home and eats and breathes through tubes jammed down his throat and up his nose.

Apparently, the evil and irresponsible family left a puddle of water in the floor when they fished their unconcious, blue-lipped infant out of the pool and brought him into the house. So when Sgt. Eichhorn (or as I like to call her “Satan’s Whore”) came into the house, she slipped in the water and hurt her knee.

Local6.com reports:

“The loss we’ve suffered, and she’s seeking money?” said Richard Cosmillo, 69, the boy’s grandfather, who lived in the home with his wife and the boy’s mother. “Of course there’s going to be water in the house. He was sopping wet when we brought him in.”

Oh, and as if this bitch is not bad enough, check out what her attorney, David “Sieg” Heil, says:

“It’s a situation where the Cosmillos have caused these problems, brought them on themselves, then tried to play the victim,” Heil said.

I have no proof that he is a bestiality loving freak, but I have no proof that he isn’t either.

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October 11, 2007 at 3:35 am 4 comments

South Korea to host conference on condom size

South Korea’s government wants to set international quality and size standards for condoms. *chuckle… tee-hee*

A five-day meeting, organized by the International Organisation for Standardisation and the Seoul government, will begin today (October 8th) on the southern resort island of Jeju.

The Commerce Ministry’s standardisation agency expects 100 people from 50 nations to attend, agency spokesperson Yoo Yong-Jae said. No mention of huge orgies was made, but participants are hopeful.

South Africa’s Mail and Guardian Online reports that South Korean firms, led by Unidus, account for about 30% of global condom sales. Unidus chief Kim Sung-Hoon said:

“Demand has been growing for years for unified international standards on the size and quality of condoms to ensure users are protected from disease and women from pregnancy,”

“The size of South Korean condoms now meets international standards, helped by an increase in the size of men’s penises here”

Okay I think the question that’s on every man’s mind now is, “How exactly are South Korean penises experiencing this sudden growth spurt?” 

Kim Sung-Hoon goes on to say that globally, 80 major companies are capable of producing 12-billion condoms a year, but annual demand is just eight billion.

Citing the good quality of South Korean condoms, he said his company would lobby for the World Health Organisation and other participants to adopt Korean standards.

If the world starts going by the standard of Korean penis size, I think we’re all in trouble.

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October 8, 2007 at 3:45 am 17 comments

Kenyan Politicians Fight Over Oranges

The ODM party and the ODM-Kenya parties are both petitioning the Electoral Commission of Kenya (ECK) for exclusive rights to use an orange as a symbol for their parties. Apparently, ODM has been using a full orange, while ODM-Kenya opted for the more daring one full and a half orange.

Yeah! Good thinking guys, because THAT is what is wrong in Kenya! Let’s stop bickering about the little issues that mean nothing, such as:

→ 50% of the population living below the poverty line

→ 40% unemployment rate

→ rampant HIV/AIDS epidemics (currently 1 in 16 Kenyans have full blown AIDS)

(Do I need to go on?)

Kenya’s The Standard Online reports:

‘Raila, Mudavadi and chairman Mr Henry Kosgey said ODM legally owned the symbol.
“Ours is a full Orange and the ODM-Kenya’s is one and a half orange. We are Chungwa and they are Machungwa,” added Raila.
ODM has in the past claimed that it had been granted exclusive rights to use the orange symbol, adding that no other party should claim the orange.
Maanzo said they urged ECK to ensure that the party was the only one allowed to use the orange symbol.
“We have the conviction that the orange symbol is ours and will agree to nothing less,” said Maanzo.
They argued that should the ECK allow the two parties to use their respective orange symbols, then they had no problem but should it be ruled that the orange was for one party, they would demand that it be given to their party.
Kalonzo later demanded a guarantee from the ECK that the orange would be part of their symbol.’

 Let me make sure I have it straight:
ODM = Chungwa = full orange
ODM-Kenya = MaChungwa = full orange and half orange
Yep, that’s like night and day.

Anyone remember the movie that said, “Stupid is as Stupid does.”?

ECK caught up in fresh battle for orange symbol
SOURCE: CIA World Fact Book — Kenya

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October 4, 2007 at 1:45 am 1 comment

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